I was enthralled with the blue, soulful stories of Murakami’s book, Men Without Women. Without the energetic feminine in their lives, the bleak stories of these men felt haunting and sad.
Liv…this is a very astute and insightful discourse. I think your time ruminating on and researching this subject has brought some really good understanding. Very well explained!
I’ve written a bit about this in the past. I think a lot of this problem has to do with selfishness.
When we became infatuated with ourselves, our online personas, and when we turned the camera back on ourselves, everything shifted. We started believing that we deserve the best, that everyone should be supporting us, and we should fully realize our goals before making any concessions or sacrifices to others.
Which puts everyone in an adversarial stance towards relationships.
Only now am I starting to see friends, fatigued from years of keeping people at bay who were “not good enough for them” or someone they would have considered as a “settle”, finally starting to soften.
You're totally right, relationships are built, not found. Yet, so many people judge the raw block of marble as ugly, unable to see that with a lifetime of shaping could do.
I may not be the best person to write about this. I’ve been with my partner for the past 15 years. So idk much about the modern dating landscape. But one thing I do know is that I am a radically different, and better, human being because of her. And without a doubt (her words not mine) she is a better person because of me.
I know that men need women, just as I know women need men. Life is too hard to do alone.
I agree on your point about selfishness — too often finding a partner is only about what they bring to you and not where you can go together.
It’s an interesting analogy you bring up of raw marble. I often hear women speak out the fear of dating someone with hopes to “change them” — which is not a healthy mindset — but there should be space to grow and change together.
I love hearing how you talk about your partner and her words for you! Seeing examples of healthy, long-term relationships is so needed!!
Liv…this is a very astute and insightful discourse. I think your time ruminating on and researching this subject has brought some really good understanding. Very well explained!
Right on, Zac! You’ve added another good perspective to Liv’s already perceptive dialog.
I’ve written a bit about this in the past. I think a lot of this problem has to do with selfishness.
When we became infatuated with ourselves, our online personas, and when we turned the camera back on ourselves, everything shifted. We started believing that we deserve the best, that everyone should be supporting us, and we should fully realize our goals before making any concessions or sacrifices to others.
Which puts everyone in an adversarial stance towards relationships.
Only now am I starting to see friends, fatigued from years of keeping people at bay who were “not good enough for them” or someone they would have considered as a “settle”, finally starting to soften.
You're totally right, relationships are built, not found. Yet, so many people judge the raw block of marble as ugly, unable to see that with a lifetime of shaping could do.
I may not be the best person to write about this. I’ve been with my partner for the past 15 years. So idk much about the modern dating landscape. But one thing I do know is that I am a radically different, and better, human being because of her. And without a doubt (her words not mine) she is a better person because of me.
I know that men need women, just as I know women need men. Life is too hard to do alone.
I agree on your point about selfishness — too often finding a partner is only about what they bring to you and not where you can go together.
It’s an interesting analogy you bring up of raw marble. I often hear women speak out the fear of dating someone with hopes to “change them” — which is not a healthy mindset — but there should be space to grow and change together.
I love hearing how you talk about your partner and her words for you! Seeing examples of healthy, long-term relationships is so needed!!
Love it! Well said, Liv.